Thursday, February 17, 2011

Equal Opportunity Abusers

Simcha Fisher linked to this pathetic, sad post by an abused man named Doug who thinks he’s getting what he wants for Valentine’s Day. What happens? Well, for Valentine’s Day he goes to the grocery store with his wife – they even take some friends along to celebrate with them and – wait, wait for it – he gets to buy whatever he wants to eat:

“I picked up some really expensive jam. Rachel said, “Yum, that will be really great, Doug!”

In fact everything I picked up got the same response from her (or very close to it), and that was my present: I could choose anything I wanted, and she could only say how great everything was. What an awesome gift that was, a trip to the grocery store.

I have no idea what it cost Rachel to make that trip to the grocery store with me. It was simply one of my best gifts. Find a way to make your man feel accepted, now that’s a Valentine’s Day present.” [my emphasis]

Dr. Helen Smith writes a lot about how men in our society have become more marginalized, and how women can make comments about how ignorant, insensitive, violent, worthless and unnecessary men are and no one bats an eye, while if those same comments were made by men about women, an uproar would ensue. Think about it: how are men portrayed in places like commercials and network TV? They’re stupid, clueless, and a burden to bear (oh how dirty he gets things! I need this new washer from Sears to clean up after him!) And women? They’re nothing less than heroic, multi-tasking saviors who have all the answers and do all the work.

And so many men buy into it and let women treat them worse than the family dog. Just like Doug.

Hey Doug, if Rachel lets you read this, let me tell you something: she’s emotionally abusing you. Really, she is. You need to get some therapy, talk to some real men (email me and I'll give you my husband's number) – something, and fast. Better yet, take all of y’all’s savings you can get your hands on in the next 24 hours and Run. The. Hell. Away. When your life has gotten to the point that you’re grateful she lets you buy your own food one day a year, it’s probably too late for therapy anyway. You are better off living alone with a nice dog as a pet than with this controlling, evil narcissist.

Oh, and girls? If you think even one small part of Doug’s post was cute: go look in the mirror and think long and hard about who you think you are. Because if you’re treating your boyfriend or husband like a cute but messy Chihuahua that you constantly have to take care of – you need to cut that crap out as soon as possible, or you’ll turn into Rachel the Wicked Witch’s twin sister faster than you can say “and your little dog, too.”

This public service announcement is over. Have a nice day.

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