Joke for a Wednesday

An NEA member, the CEO of a Fortune Five Hundred Company, an elected public official, and a tea partier are sitting at a table. The tea partier, as a taxpayer and member of the private sector, bakes a dozen cookies and puts them on the table. The elected public official takes the 12 cookies and gives 6 to the CEO and 6 to the NEA member. The CEO and the NEA member wolf down all the cookies. The elected official pulls a gun on the tea partier and says “bake more cookies.”

And the moral of the story? Crony capitalism, where companies like GE and Goldman Sachs get money from the government, sucks . . . and so does crony political capitalism. Crony political capitalism is where government officials give higher salaries and benefits with taxpayer money to public employee unions in exchange for: (1) a cut of the wages coming back as political contributions from union dues; and (2) a ready supply of campaign workers and street thugs in the form of union members.

This crony political capitalism has lead to unfunded pension liabilities for public employees of over $2,000,000,000,000.00. That has to be dealt with by shared sacrifice. “Shared” means everyone gets to take a bite of the sh!t sandwich. That includes the NEA and other public employee unions.

Finally, considering that the average salary for teachers ($42k per year)—before factoring in the several months off per year, the very generous health care, and frequently guaranteed-benefit pension plans—now exceeds the average full-time worker salary in the U.S. ($39k), NEA members have far more in common with CEOs these days than with workers in the private sector: they both sit on top of pyramids taking income and benefits created by others.

Armed to the Teeth and Glad of It

Ann Althouse links to this story in the NY Post, about NYC sanitation workers who "accidentally" dumped snow on a Jewish cemetary, breaking its fence and knocking over headstones. In the same story, it describes other City workers who towed people's cars to different locations (not to an impound lot, mind you, just to another street) and then dumped so much snow on them the cars were crushed. The City has agreed to give these people complaint forms to fill out: a good form can solve a multitude of problems, I'm told.

Here's my theory on why this kind of thing happens in the kind of place NYC has become: the citizens of NYC are unarmed. Yup, it's that simple. Gun ownership is a fundamental right in the Bill of Rights, not to protect citizens from each other, but primarily to protect them from the government itself. When you run a city full of unarmed people, you, as the government, can do as you please. And the people have to take their complaint forms, fill them in quietly, and live with it.

I say this because, having lived for so long in the the largest heavily armed city in the nation, I can't even imagine what would happen if the City of Houston abused the rights of its residents in this way. I watched Houston clean up after Hurricane Ike, and by and large the City helped people - they didn't make things worse. Yes, a lot of the work cleaning up was done by residents, and much was done by the power companies as they worked to get the powerlines back up. But the City did its job, to the point that we had regular trash pick up the Tuesday after the storm.

When people ask me why I left New York* 18 years ago, it's stories like this that I point to. I refuse to live in a place where the government has completely forgotten that it is the servant of the people - not the other way around. In Texas, the government still remembers that, and perhaps it does so because it knows it's outgunned a thousand to one by its own citizens. And if that's what it takes, that's what it takes.

*Full Disclosure: I lived 22 years in rural NY State, not in the City. But truly, the same problems exist on a state level in NY, where all politicians have long forgotten who should really be in charge. I took my BA, ran south 10 days after graduation and have never looked back. There's a reason for that ...

Thoughts on Government

Husband has this dream in which the various federal departments are not only forced to slash their budgets and payrolls by enormous percentages, but also are divvied up by region of the country. Why? Because wherever government congregates in too large a crowd, our money is spent at an even more alarming rate. The harder you make their jobs, the less they'll be able to do. And the less they can do, the more we'll be left alone.

So where do they all go? Here's our joint list:

IRS: Nome, AK. Pure punishment.
Treasury: NYC
Commerce: Chicago
Defense: Omaha
Justice: stays in DC with the Supreme Court
HHS: Minneapolis
Education: Boston
State Department: Miami
Labor: Cleveland
Interior: Denver
Agriculture: Kansas City
Energy: Houston
HUD: New Orleans
Transportation: Los Angeles
Veterans Affairs: San Diego
Homeland Security: Oklahoma City
EPA: Newark
US Trade Rep: El Paso
UN Mission: Guam
NEA: Orlando, so they can wear mouse ears
Social Security Admin: Phoenix
Post Office: Memphis, so FedEx can show them how it's done
BIA: Albuquerque
BATF: Waco
INS: Ciudad Juarez (don't forget to duck, guys)
CIA: Pigeon Forge, TN, because they're all a bunch of boobs
FDA: 3 Mile Island, so they might get faster approving cancer-treatment drugs
FBI: Chicago
DEA: Humboldt County, CA
NSA: Detroit
Weather Service: Mt. Washington, NH
Amtrak: Molokai

Hook Bids Run the World

PJ O'Rourke on A Plague of 'A' Students.

My favorite quote - not necessarily related to the substance of the piece but priceless nonetheless:

"Nancy Pelosi needs a session on the ducking stool, of course. But everyone with an ugly divorce has had a Nancy. She’s vexatious and expensive to get rid of, but it’s not like we give a damn about her. Harry Reid is going house-to-house selling nothing anybody wants. Slam the door on him and the neighbor’s Rottweiler will do the rest. And Barney Frank is self-punishing. Imagine being trapped inside Barney Frank."

I love PJ O'Rourke.

HT: Instapundit.

The Useful Idiot: A Field Guide

I used the phrase "useful idiot" in an earlier post today; it's one I've always liked. Since I'm in a political mood - thanks to tax day - I thought I'd write a little post about some of the most useful and idiotic people I can find. They are easy to spot, and it's far more fun to hunt them then it is to go out, say, birding. And you can do it from the comfort of your very own living room. Why not give it a try?!

Here's my first find; the one I like best in this piece is Jeffrey Hollender, the owner of Seventh Generation, an "eco-products" company. Hollender has this particular gem, that I think makes him the star of the article:

"I do feel that I should pay more taxes — absolutely," Hollender says. "While I don't like how the government spends the money I give them, I do feel that I pay too little."

Soooo. Not only does Mr. Hollender want to give more of his money away, he wants to give it to an organization with which he disagrees. Would he give his money to a lobbying group that supported the growth of responsible nuclear energy? No? Why not? Just because he's on the board of Greenpeace, an organization that thinks nuclear power is "evil"? But he says he's willing to give even more of his money to the government, even though he doesn't like how they spend it.

How do people like this make sense of things? How on earth do you come a point in life where you lack logic to such a degree that you can walk around spouting such nonsense? I have no idea. The only thing I do know: I need to find a new laundry detergent, since the stuff swishing around in my washer right this minute is making Mr. Hollender even more money - that he will eventually share with the government, of course.

Thoughts of the Eve of Tax Day

Some random asides:

Bill Whittle has some great quotes from the Founding Fathers on the proper place of government in our lives. My favorite is from Patrick Henry:

“Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.”

I've done the taxes and Husband has paid the deficiency (poor Husband - at this time, yes, quite poor). I've also done the math, and discovered that 30% of our our yearly gross income goes right back out the door in taxes. Yes, I said thirty percent. That's higher than the 18% we spend on housing, the 11% we put away in savings, or the 6% we spend on our cars. And that, to me, is sick. It's wrong. It is, for lack of a better word, out-and-out theft.

As I noted on Facebook the other day, 47% of Americans pay no Federal income tax at all. If these people have no stake in the system, why do we continue to allow them to (effectively) run it? Why do they get to vote at all? Yes, I am suggesting that we tax "the poor". Anyone over the Federal poverty level should pay something, even a pittance, if only to remind them that it's their money the government is spending. If not, perhaps they should remain citizens but lose the right to vote. No representation without taxation? It has a ring to it ...

A related thought: we need to move Election Day to April 16th. No more of this November nonsense - we need to go to the polls with a very clear sense of how badly we've just been bent over the sink (pardon the vulgarism) and vote accordingly. This is a non-partisan desire on my part; let's vote to get rid of all of them, if they spend too much of what we've earned.

The boys and I will be at the Houston Tea Party tomorrow, having fun and taking pictures of the friendly crowd ... and any unfriendly crashers as well. Pajamas Media will be putting up a special gallery of the latter, who are also known as "useful idiots"; be sure to check it out. They'll also have coverage of the country-wide events. In Houston, AM700 will be covering the rally, with Sam Malone (if you remember him, you're as old as I am) as the emcee for the afternoon. See you at Discovery Green!

How Freshman Year

Who the hell does President Obama think he is? The president of the Five Minutes to Midnight club in his freshman dorm, from the best I can tell. Naive is really the kindest word for someone who thinks they can eliminate nuclear weapons from the world. "What kind of stupid?" is really more like it, but I'm feeling charitable today, so I'll stick with "naive". I thought I left people this stupid behind when I graduated from Colgate. Gah.

There are Those that Get It

And these boys are of that number:

HillBuzz: A Very Personal Plea for our Nation

Dead or Alive

Ann Althouse has an excellent piece on Eric Holder's comments recently that Osama bin Laden "won't be taken alive." She writes:

"So, Bush, in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, called for the capture of bin Laden "Dead or Alive," but Holder, with 9 years to meditate on the right way to deal with the situation, assures us that bin Laden will not be taken alive. What has brought Holder to this heated state of mind? Not the death of thousands of Americans. The threat to his political prestige. It gets his "blood boiling" that he is attacked. The fact that we were attacked did not loom large when he decided to try KSM in federal court New York City. But when that decision was savaged, he changed his tone." [my emphasis]

There's nothing quite like having your reasoning savaged by a really smart law professor, is there?

Australia

That's where we're going, if this nutty idea of DNA-containing Federal ID cards takes hold.

I don't like that the Federal government knows where I live. Do you really think I'd let them take a DNA sample from me, or (especially) from the boys? No. Thank. You.

Sweet, Sweet Rage

Maybe it's because I spent the day fighting with a lazy, mendacious, over-charging punk of a plumber, but this screed by Dan Riehl on the "nuclear option" for healthcare sounds better to me than a choir singing the sweetest of lullabies.

"Reconcile this, you distasteful, malevolent little quisling punk - a timely reminder of some words I never thought would have such import during my lifetime.

'When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.'

The cause is well known and it is just. When the alleged leader of a democratic republic places his own wishes so above those of the complete body politic, he is no longer worthy of the title, leader, no matter what office he might occupy."

Sing it, Dan.

HT: Instapundit

So it's Armed Rebellion you Want?

If something like this happens, that's what you'll get.

"... the Treasury and Labor departments are asking for public comment on 'the conversion of 401(k) savings and Individual Retirement Accounts into annuities or other steady payment streams.'"

Oy.

A Little More than Lamentable

Breitbart reports that the US has frozen spending on a HIV treatment program in several African countries. The program, which gives free antiretroviral therapy drugs to patients, was begun by President Bush in 2003. It was up for renewal this year, and the Obama administration decided to cut the program to the point that now it will be unable to accept new patients.

"We are heading to carnage. Carnage which had been put to a stop," [...] "There is no prevention programme that can succeed without treatment."

Your tax dollars, not at work doing good.

I'm juxtaposing this today in my head with a request I received at work. Will I review a lengthy and completely inapplicable document? asked an internal client. You see, the customer in question has received bailout funds, and one of the many strings attached to the money is that this particular agreement must be disseminated to and signed by all, no matter how inapplicable.

Your tax dollars, hand at work making scores of people deal with something wholly unnecessary.

If the Federal government doesn't revolt you, you're really not paying close enough attention.

Promises, Promises

Apparently a number of candidates for state office - at least 7 so far - are calling for the state to secede and form its own independent nation.

Now, I'm in Texas, right? So you're sure that I'm talking about candidates for Texas state office, aren't you?

Nope. Vermont.

See, it seems that some Vermonters were sure that socialist utopia was going to manifest itself the minute President Obama took office. And since it has yet to materialize, they're tired of waiting and are prepared to take matters into their own hands. And, one would assume, deliver said utopia to the citizens of Vermont tout suite.

Good luck with that, guys.

HT: Instapundit.

The Ever Lovin' Post Office

This was on Drudge, but I nevertheless feel compelled to link to it because it is so dang funny. It seems as if the Post Office has been hiding the mail:

"They're just pushing it aside for the next day," Arcovio told the paper. "We've had issues with them hiding the mail."

And of course, "The U.S.P.S. has yet to return a call for comment."

Wait - I have a great idea! Let's have the government run more things - like banks, auto companies, and health care. Yes!

Remember, if Grandma complains she never got the sweater you sent her - you know where it is.

Election Day

If you're here in Harris County, your polling place is listed here; just click on the link towards the top left of the page and it will take you to a loooooong list.

There are 11 amendments to the Texas Constitution on the ballot. This site has a conservative view of them. Moreover, if you click on each amendment it opens a window with a more detailed description and a short "pro" and "con" argument. Very helpful.

And if you're of a right-leaning disposition and still don't know who to vote for, the Texas Conservative Review has endorsements for city council and controller, as well as grades for the mayoral elections. Pages 3 and 15 are what you want if you're in a hurry.

Get out and vote! And don't forget to bring the kids with you; nothing says good parenting like bringing the little nippers along to help you participate in democracy.

Take What You Want and Pay for It

That's the rule, right? "There is no free lunch" is another way of putting it.

But apparently someone forgot to tell the executives who took TARP money that the world worked that way - and now they are being presenting with the check.

Were these people really stupid enough to think that anything the government gave you was free? You pay with your money, you pay with your vote - but politicians always collect, one way or the other. Dealing with Uncle Vinnie might be easier, come to think of it.

So, how does it feel to be bought and paid for by Uncle Sam now, guys?

Quick Political Quiz

Try it here: http://www.theadvocates.org/quizp/index.html

My results:

Random Political Tidbits from the Internets

I’ve been overwhelmed with work lately, hence the lack of any updates here at the Grass Widow. To avoid me having to think too much but to get away with posting something, here are a few notes from the wonderful world of politics.

• The “Safe Schools Czar” (can we please stop using that word?) is in some hot water about failing to report a relationship between his 15 year old student and a 30 year old man who met each other (where I always met all my dates before I was married) in the men’s bathroom at a bus station. HT: Mommy Life
  
• As everyone knows, pedophile Roman Polanski is finally in jail and will hopefully be deported to the US soon to face prosecution. Hollywood types are upset about this, since artistes shouldn’t be subject to the same rules as the rest of us. Or is it because they just don’t think what he did was that bad? What do you think? Ann Althouse has a funny and outraged post on the subject here.
  
• Information on the defense funds for Acorn-exposing journalists Hannah Giles, James O’Keefe and Andrew Breitbart can be found on Breitbart’s website, biggovernment.com.
  
• Stephen Green makes an amusing suggestion.
  
• There is a vigil for the 70 million Chinese killed by the People’s Republic of China over the past 60 years – tonight in NYC at 7pm. More information here.

Late Night Conversation

Me: "Using Bill Maher's logic, the President shouldn't be proposing health care reform until he's proven to the public that he's quit smoking."

Husband: "Why are you using the words 'Bill Maher" and 'logic' in the same sentence?"