Dear Sir

Today, as I entered the freeway in the rain, you were in my blind spot. And despite the fact you must have noticed the frantic blinking of my turn signal, there you stayed. You sat and you sat, exactly 3/4 of the way down the length of my minivan, as the "get left - this lane ends" sign got closer and closer to the nose of said minivan. Finally, to avoid a fiery death, I desperately accelerated and made it into your lane at the very last second. No thanks to you, I might add. Now I have one, single thing to say to you:

GET A BRAIN! Check ebay, Craigslist - there must be a cheap but serviceable one out there somewhere that someone isn't using and wants to get rid of. Get this brain and have it installed before you take to the road again. If not to save people like me from a bone-crunching death, then to save yourself: people who drive as poorly as you do in Texas sometimes get shot by drivers less charitable than I.

Please, as a public service to others and for your own protection, listen to me.

Kindest regards,

The Grass Widow