Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Things That Pain Me to Tell You

I'm complaining, which I'm sure you all want to hear about. But there are a few things that have been peeving me mightily, and I'd like to get them off my metaphorical chest.

1. Parents at taekwondo who help their children get into and out of their sparring gear need to Get. A. Life. If my boys can do this themselves for three solid years, trust me, your child can, too. Because honestly, it really looks pathetic to have a 9 year old standing there idly while his mama pulls off his fighting gear. The word "wuss" comes to mind. I know it's not an earth-shattering problem I'm talking about, but give your kid some dignity and let him dress himself, okay?

2. Poverty tourism gets my goat just about more than anything. This could (and should) be a post unto itself; the same is true with #3 below. But since I'm not involved in anything remotely related to ministry I think I will just leave the real writing of it to the experts. But in my own opinion: pastors and the like flying off to get photo ops in third world garbage dumps should be forced to stay there for several weeks before flying home again. Maybe then they'd just donate the cost of their tickets, etc, to a long-term mission that actually does some good and be done with it.

3. And finally, if one more person tells me that Caylee Anthony was a late term abortion, and tries to use a dead two year old to justify their anti-abortion position, I might just scream so loud you can hear me in Idaho. Why? Well, first of all, let's remember that you, personally, were not on the jury, and that Casey Anthony was indeed acquitted of harming her child. Did she behave bizarrely in the extreme, lie like a dog, and do all sorts of other inappropriate things? Yes, she did. Did she act like you would have had your child died or gone missing? Probably not. But did a jury of her peers convict her of harming one hair on her daughter's head? No, they did not. And so your abortion analogy breaks down before it even leaves the driveway. Secondly, even if Casey Anthony was convicted, the whole statement is still a really crappy idea. Is abortion a sin? I'm quite sure. So is cheating on your husband and your taxes, failing to help widows, coveting your neighbor's riding lawnmower, and being rude to your mother. God will sort all those things out - as well as other, more serious infractions - in the great by and by. But those of us hanging out down here on Planet Earth should not run around spending all our time pointing out the sins of others and shouting "you're as bad as a child murderer!" I mean, if that's what you want Christians to be known for, I guess you should go ahead. Tell every woman who has had an abortion that it's as if she drowned her child in a swamp and left her there. What a good idea. While you're at it, tell every guy who cheats on his wife that he might as well have murdered her, he's such a piece of whaleshit. That will spread the love of Christ mighty well. That will let everyone know the Church is a hospital for sinners (instead of a room full of finger-pointing hypocrites) immediately. I'm sorry for the sarcasm, but can't we judge in our hearts without acting so judgemental? Can't we think to ourselves "I would never, ever do that!" and then let it go? Because while yes, an unborn baby is a person, so is a sinner. And if you give all the sinners in the world the middle finger instead of grace, I'm afraid you're going to be left on your mountain of self-righteousness quite alone.

Okay, I'm done now. Unless you want me to go on about the weather ...

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